If It Could Have Been
by Where's Waldorf
Summary: Set in 5x03. Blair is pregnant and Chuck is the father. A story of how things might have happened if Blair knew Chuck had kept Monkey before she told him she was pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

Chuck sat alone at the bar of his suite, clutching the glass of scotch that had become as much a part of him as his legs, or his hands. The only sound was the ringing noise in his ears that had been present from the moment he let Blair go.

He still felt numb. While the dog that Humphrey gave to him, Monkey, had brought some vague comfort, Chuck still couldn't feel any of the more critical emotions, like pain or love. To the people around him, Chuck Bass gave the impression of an active participant in conversation and perhaps a slightly quaint version of himself. Inside Chuck however, everyone seemed like blurred flashes of themselves, their voices muffled by the ever-present ringing sound in his head. Chuck had never felt so detached in all his years of lurking in the shadows and observing everyone around him for his own amusement.

Downstairs, Blair Waldorf had just entered the Empire's lobby after opening the test that revealed who the father of her baby was. Before opening it, Blair had taken a deep breath and had a long moment of thought.

Both men were almost equally ready to be fathers. Louis had proved he would protect her from anything, why not their child? He was emotionally mature and had been perfect in every way so far in their relationship. This couldn't be any different. And yet the interviewer today had said that Louis felt that starting a family was "a long way off" and he was "nowhere near ready to be a father at this point in my life." This left Blair with some doubts.

Chuck as an even bigger puzzle. He was Chuck Bass. Most people would acknowledge that he was not the fatherly type. His lifestyle consisted of copious amounts of women, scotch and drugs. Chuck Bass is recognised to the world as a villain, almost heartless. In fact on Gossip Girl just today, Blair saw that he had gotten rid of the sweet dog at the pound. Could he learn to love and support a child? He didn't exactly have a great role model of a father.

But Blair wasn't just anyone. She had experienced sides to Chuck Bass that nobody else had. In their months of dating he had no issues with being committed to her, unlike Nate and Marcus who you would expect otherwise from. Commitment had to count for something. Also, Chuck had expressed some concern when he realised Blair might be pregnant in her junior year. Blair still remembered his words about second-hand smoke and its risks on a baby. She could acknowledge that he didn't exactly want her to get rid of it. In fact he had been trying to protect in a way, but she had been too busy trying to get back perfection in her life and did not appreciate it at the time. Chuck had tried to propose to her more than once, despite something getting in the way each time. He had to know that if he was intending to marry her, children could be expected in their future.

Yet there were still those complex and darker aspects of Chuck that only Blair had seen as well. Often in the past, he would run away from love and good things because he was afraid of destroying them. Chuck had broken glass in a fit of anger and distress when Blair revealed she was engaged to Louis. He wasn't emotionally stable and she couldn't risk that with her child. Chuck was clearly the more confusing person, so Blair decided that no matter what the test said she would find Chuck first.

The test showed that Chuck was the father.

And now she was in the elevator on her way to Chuck's suite. A large part of her was utterly terrified. Terrified of losing everything, just as she had told Dan. Terrified that on top of losing everything she would be once and for all destroyed by everyone's reaction. Terrified of being on her way to see Chuck for the first time in a while. She immediately went into her controlling mode. What were her last thoughts before she read the envelope? She had been debating who was more ready to be a father. Finding out the truth had slightly altered her thoughts. She was sure she wouldn't be thinking twice if Louis was the father. She had an indiscretion to cover up and she didn't want to lose everything.

Blair had kept secrets before. She was aware of how bad this was. She was still considering the option of passing it off as Louis' and just living a depressing life of guilt as her own form of punishment. Suddenly Blair realised that this meant a life of happiness with Louis was lost to her no matter what she did at this point. She had a lot of faith in Louis' love for her and his ability to protect her from anything if she was pregnant with his child. But what if she remained honest with him like always and told him the whole truth. Blair was sure that his only option would be to withdraw his right to the throne to slightly reduce the effect the world's reaction would have to Blair's infidelity. This of course depended on the strength of his love for her and if he was even remotely close to considering forgiving her for this.

But then she couldn't ignore that nagging feeling of... of... relief!

Chuck wasn't lost to her forever. Like she said on that night at Constance, she didn't want to let him go just yet. She was still very much in love with him, as she said she would always be.

Blair began to calculate her next move quickly, as the elevator would arrive at his suite in a matter of seconds. She decided that she had to tread carefully and not reveal anything too quickly. She would observe Chucks position in life at the moment and work from there.

The doors opened. She stepped out of the elevator, breathing carefully and constructing her mask as best she could. However the moment she saw Chuck, all her efforts were shot to hell.

Chuck had been studying his glass for a while now when he heard the soft sound of the elevator open and heels taking steps into his penthouse. He turned to find Blair Waldorf; the love of his life standing at the entrance in all her glory. Her face revealed that she was observing him with a hint of trepid worry; leaving a great sense that she was withholding thoughts in her mind. Blair would leave anyone else confused with the mixtures of emotions flashing across her face. But Chuck Bass recognised that she had a secret the moment he looked at her. He had the ability to read her long before they ever got together, recognising her lie to Kati and Is about knowing Serena was returning to the Upper East Side and smirking to himself. But this time she had the power to hurt him again and it was no laughing matter.

For an extremely tense moment they stared at each other. This was their first meeting since they decided to end their great love for good. Chuck's stunned face remained serious with caution and fear hiding behind his eyes. The ringing noise was still present and Blair seemed a blurry version of herself to him, but the feeling of detachment from life had disappeared. It was Blair after all.

Blair realised she was the one who came here with a purpose.

"I need to talk to you" she spoke softly.

"I thought we said everything we needed to say last time we saw each other" Chuck immediately responded, his wall going up. This woman had already traumatized him to the point of numbness. He had to be careful. If anything he wanted her to leave before anything more happened to him.

Blair glanced down weakly, unable to look straight at him. Blair was slightly hurt and taken off guard by his cold demeanour, considering he had done the sacrificing for her. She almost felt the need to remind him that it was his choice. But she knew better at this point. Their relationship had become so intense that she knew that she couldn't berate him without feeling guilty.

"Chuck" she sighed almost defensively.

Chuck realised he had already left himself vulnerable to her hurt by making such a cynical statement. His only option was an attempt at friendliness now, the exact opposite. It would put her off finding his still fresh wounds.

Suddenly, Monkey trotted out to stop at Blair's feet. Blair leaned down to touch the dog's head.

"Blair, meet my dog Monkey" Chuck drawled.

"Oh!" Blair gasped softly as she tickled Monkey under his chin.

"Wha-? I saw Gossip Girl; I thought you got rid of him" Blair asked in confusion.

"I just sent him to get fixed. I thought it was the responsible thing to do" Chuck explained.

A flash of surprise crossed Blair's face. There was an opening. Was he maturing? She tried to ignore the feeling of her heart lifting. Her brain pushed it back down a peg or two, reminding her to stick to observing Chuck cautiously to detect any signs that she should risk everything and tell him.

"You never seemed the type to own pets?" Blair prompted.

"It's a long story, but I think it's a good idea to keep him" Chuck said carefully, not betraying too much. He didn't want to tell her about his numbness, which still hadn't gone away at her arrival. It was slightly embarrassing for one thing. Also, she was marrying Louis; he couldn't put this issue on her in any way at all.

Blair tried to keep the conversation going, somewhat inspired by Chuck's words.

"Well, I hope Nate has been warned. You know what they say about a dog being man's best friend" Blair chirped.

Chuck smirked, saying "he encouraged it actually. He won't be around due to his new so-called 'job.'"

"Care to expand on that?" Blair questioned, realising the icy tension had began to thaw and paced forward until she reached the bar where he was seated. She stood across from him inside the bar area crossing her arms across her chest.

"Typical Nate earning money off pleasuring older woman, just a slightly more legal way of doing it this time" Chuck said casually.

"This was the boy I had been planning on marrying for most of my life" Blair dramatically stated to the room in disbelief.

Chuck shrugged his shoulders, breathing out through his nose as he smirked. He looked anywhere but at Blair, as the reminders of why he loved her invaded him. Luckily, Monkey trotted towards them at the bar distracting Chuck for a moment. Chuck patted the seat next to him for the dog to hop up onto. Chuck had a small smile as he scratched behind his ears.

Blair watched Chuck and could not ignore the butterflies that had exploded within her. She didn't even realise her most used mask, the one that hid her love for Chuck best, had fallen off her face as she watched him with affection. He really cared about this dog, and it was doing wonders on her perception of him. _Maybe, just maybe I can tell him,_ she thought.

"He's bringing you joy" Blair noted.

Chuck had to look up now. Her face was glowing and seemed excited by his behaviour, he recognised that look in her eyes. He felt the slightest flutter in his stomach that threatened to remove the numbness. Chuck nodded slowly, knitting his eyebrows as he watched her curiously.

"It's kind of the point" Chuck said carefully.

Blair didn't know how to take that statement, but she was getting more hopeful by the minute that Chuck could actually be ready for this. No man could ever really feel ready for this, but deep down they all have it in them to love the child. Isn't that what Humphrey insisted to her?

"I need to use the bathroom" she blurted out suddenly.

Chuck raised his eyebrows and then nodded.

"Go right ahead, I take it you still remember where it is?" Chuck said.

Blair nodded quickly, getting up and leaving the bar area.

She had no intention of using the bathroom, but felt the need to find out all she could about Chuck before telling him anything. The bathroom was next to his home office. She entered quietly. Blair walked to his desk immediately. She ruffled through the papers, which mostly had to do with Bass Industries. "_Okay, so he'd be a hardworking father. I know this child will be supported financially. But he isn't going to be Bart. He isn't cold enough to even get rid of a dog._" Blair thought to herself.

Blairopened his laptop. She decided to check his history on the computer to see what he had been pursuing lately, sifting through to find mostly stuff to do with work. Then something strange caught her eye. A mental health site. She clicked it and it opened up to an article with the title "Aversion disorder."

"Blind...paralysed... unable to feel...psychological trauma...treatment involves trying to make the patient feel again" Blair murmured aloud as she read. She was filled with worry. Was something really wrong with Chuck?

"What are you doing?" Chuck said. Blair gasped, shutting the laptop and looking up to see Chuck standing at the door, an angry and suspicious look on his face. Chuck still couldn't feel anger, but he knew he had to appear angry at her in this moment.

She jumped from her seat, embarrassed to be caught stalking him. Blair took a deep breath and strengthened her resolve. She looked Chuck square in the face.

"Chuck. Why are you researching about aversion disorder?" Blair asked.

"Stalk me much?" Chuck said drily, repeating her words from her 17th birthday.

"Are- are you doing okay?" Blair pressed slowly, ignoring what he said.

"Look you weren't supposed to read that. Let's just forget about it." Chuck said, wincing inwardly at how weakly he lied.

Blair on the other hand felt more intrigued. He wasn't shutting her off with insults. What was happening to Chuck Bass?

"Does this have something to do with Dan telling me you were in some sort of Freudian trouble?" Blair continued to ask him.

"It's just something Humphrey looked up the other day. It's nothing to do with me." Chuck said a little too easily. He forgot who he was dealing with. Blair sighed, pulling the pieces together.

"You aren't deaf or blind clearly. So you have the numbing symptoms?" Blair asked softly.

Chuck didn't speak for a few minutes. He couldn't look at her, debating his next move. Chuck decided to give in and tell her as briefly as possible. It was obvious that Humphrey didn't know how to keep his mouth shut anyway.

"I haven't been able to feel anything. I tried dangerous and painful things and felt nothing. Humphrey has been slowly guiding me through things that bring people joy to see if it works" Chuck muttered, not looking at her.

Blair swallowed watching him, growing wary.

"It's set off from great loss. Which I have had plenty of, as you are aware." Chuck finished casually.

Blair took a deep breath and didn't speak for a few minutes. He has had to deal with so much loss. Something like this was bound to happen, she realised.

"So that's why you have Monkey?" Blair asked.

"Dan brought him to me to make me happy." Chuck stated.

"And did he?" Blair asked quietly.

"He's comforting in a small way but comfort isn't great enough to make me feel something. He's turning out to be not too shabby company anyway, and I surprisingly didn't have it in me to dispose of him." Chuck said with a soft chuckle in an attempt to ease the tension, looking back up at Blair. She was staring at him with the same look she had when she first arrived.

Blair heard his words and she just knew. She had to tell him the truth. Blair Waldorf wasn't that cruel. Dan had said that he thought she had changed from last year and she had. At the very least the shock would be enough to cure Chuck, she was sure of it.

"I need a drink and to sit down" Blair said softly. She wasn't sure how much this would ease her into the fact she was about to single-handedly destroy herself.

Chuck nodded and walked back to the bar area with her trailing behind. She sat on a stool as Chuck mixed a drink. She stopped him before he put anything alcoholic in it and he looked at her questioningly. Blair ignored him; it wasn't how she should reveal it. Then she began procrastinating by pondering on how she should say it.

She had been silent for a while. Chuck knew there was something on her mind that was on the brink of being revealed. He decided to get her to talk.

"Why did you come here anyway actually? Is this another misguided attempt by Dan to get me to feel something?" Chuck asked, smiling slightly as he looked at his glass.

"I'm pregnant." She gushed out.

He looked up at her rapidly. She had said those two words so softly, but they had boomed loudly above the ringing noise in his ear. She was pregnant. She was _pregnant?_ Did she really just say that?

"What?" Chuck asked, dazed by the current emotions he was feeling that he hadn't felt in a while. Excitement, love and fear that it wasn't his. And then suddenly Blair came into a better focus, she was no longer blurred and distant to him. Her beautiful face staring at him, though paled white with fear.

"You're pregnant?" Chuck asked.

Blair nodded breathing in and out. Chuck looked down and saw her hand shaking in her hold against the glass. He took it into his and looked back up at her.

"Is it mine Blair?" He asked, not even trying to mask the hope in his voice.

Blair felt his hand in hers and looked deeply into his eyes that were filled with hope. She saw everything right and her heart fluttered in response. He wanted this baby. He needed this baby. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Ye-yes" she gasped out in a sob.

Chuck's grip on her hand tightened as happiness began to spread through him. He hadn't realised how much he wanted this until he was unsure whether or not the baby was his. He was going to be a father? The thought both terrified and overjoyed him at the same time. Pictures of brunette boys and girls appeared in his mind. They were perfect and they were his. Tears began streaming down his face and he used his other hand to clutch his chest which had tightened.

Blair watched Chucks face. He looked completely stunned yet with happy tears falling. It helped, but she was still scared of everything. She was sure she made the right decision. But this certainly wasn't going to be easy.

Chuck hugged her tightly across the bar bench and kissed her cheek. Heat spread through Blair and she froze at the intimate contact. Chuck seemed to realise his mistake too late. He pulled back.

"I'm sorry about that." He said awkwardly.

"It's okay." She said quickly.

"If I know anything about Chuck Bass it's that fatherhood isn't part of the lifestyle, so no matter all the challenges we're about to face, do you want to be part of this child's life?" Blair had to ask.

"Of course I do, this is a good thing Blair!" Chuck immediately said, "But I can understand I guess if you aren't completely relieved that you're carrying my offspring. It's certainly going to derail you fairytale." He was bitter at that. While overjoyed at the prospect of having real family, the type you couldn't get rid of no matter what, it didn't insure a rekindling of his relationship with Blair.

"This fairytale is complicated. But there was a part of me that really wanted it to be yours." Blair admitted slowly. Chuck nodded but didn't completely understand her statement.

"So...what's the plan?" Chuck asked.

Blair had to smile at that. It was as though they were scheming partners again. Maybe if they worked together this could turn out better. But then reality kicked in.

"I haven't told Louis. I don't know what's going to happen." Blair said in a lost voice. Chuck knew he had to try for her.

"I meant what I said about deserving your fairytale. I hope you're still going to fight for it" Chuck said to her, looking her in the eye even though it destroyed him inside.

Blair stared back at him tensely for a long moment. She knew she still wanted to be with Louis. But Chuck was the father of her child aswell as her great love. The situation was crazy but if she gave up on Louis she knew it wouldn't sit right with her.

"I will"

"I'll protect you Blair if it comes down to it. You're carrying my child after all."

_Is that really the only reason why you would? _Blair thought to herself.

"That is more comforting than you know. But you can't protect me from the whole world" Blair sighed.

"You're forgetting one thing. I'm Chuck Bass" he drawled.

Blair had to giggle then.

"I should go" Blair said with a realisation that it was very late and if Louis found out she was at Chuck's there would be consequences.

"Yes," Chuck whispered, even though he wanted her to stay forever.

"Louis' waiting for me" Blair explained with a look that told him her worries if Louis knew she was here.

"Of-course" Chuck replied, nodding in understanding.

"I will call you so we can discuss the plan, but you can't say anything to anyone else. In my experience, anyone can walk in at any moment and hear your secret revealed out loud" Blair said as she made her way to the elevator. Chuck nodded.

Blair looked at Chuck before she pressed the button for the elevator. His face looked bewildered yet excited, giving her the security to remove her mask and beam at him. She stepped forward and hugged him this time, tightly. Chuck's body stiffened in surprise but then he immediately hugged her back, swallowing the sadness that she was leaving. He reached his hand in between them to touch her stomach and whispered "I'm going to protect us" in her ear. Blair pulled back nodding, her eyes filled with tears. Chuck had seen the same look after he said that he would always love her at Constance. She pressed the button for the elevator and it opened immediately, she stepped in. Blair stared at Chuck as the doors closed. The last thing she saw was that tender smile on his face that was reserved for her. Now to face the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey thanks for all the reviews! You gave me so much confidence to continue. ****I actually took your thoughts about getting rid of Louis into consideration despite finding it extremely difficult to write. ****Please tell me what you think :) **

**Chapter 2**

"I now understand why women used to go into confinement. It wasn't because of modesty but ...vanity! Look at my boobs! Oh I'm huge" Blair ranted as she observed her body in the mirror.

"Are you even listening?" she asked Dorota who was reading through a pregnancy book.

"Sorry Miss Blair, I was just reading about how some pregnant women have mood swings. Apparently they didn't know you before pregnancy" Dorota stuttered in her thick Polish accent.

"You look gorgeous Miss Blair...When are you going to tell news to Prince Louis?" Dorota continued cautiously, knowing Blair Waldorf well enough now to know she was on the verge of a breakdown.

Blair paused. The only people that knew that Chuck was the father were Chuck, Dorota and herself. Dan had been caught up in his own problems of late and Serena would be at work when Blair wasn't sleeping off her pregnancy exhaustion.

She was at a loss. How does one tell their fiancé (who also happens to be a prince) that they not only slept with someone else, but are pregnant with that person's child?

To top things off, Blair had to face her mother, Cyrus and Louis' parents today as they were all arriving at once to have dinner together. Blair was going to have to wait for as good an opportunity as possible to tell Louis. She was frightened beyond belief of what would happen. While she had found comfort from Chuck, she still didn't want to lose Louis. Blair was going to continue to fight for her fairytale like Chuck insisted. Not only did she love Louis, but she wasn't sure she would be able to be with Chuck even if Louis was out of the equation. He still had a lot of issues to work through before he would be ready for a mature relationship. It was already a big enough mess without Blair having to figure out their relationship.

However, Blair was still warmed by the knowledge that Chuck would always love her. It did allow for a light to shine on the situation.

"I don't know Dorota. I'm confused... I'm scared... I don't want the world to think of me as a star of some trashy MTV show, like 'Un-married and pregnant princesses' or I don't know, 'Royally screwed.' But it seems that it's inevitable" Blair finally spoke.

"Miss Blair, Prince Louis is not going to be over the moon, but he loves you. I'm sure he will spare you public humiliation" Dorota insisted, trying to comfort Blair.

"I don't know Dorota, I just don't" Blair trembled, looking as though she was on the verge of tears.

Dorota rushed forward, hugging the girl who had always felt like a daughter to her.

"Try to remain strong Miss Blair, these are tough times ahead. Perhaps you should try to think of good sides to this" Dorota tried.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Blair snapped, her voice wavering.

"The job of any princess is to provide an heir to a kingdom, and that is exactly what you are doing for Mister Bass and his Manhattan kingdom." Dorota said slowly, wary of Blair's reaction.

Blair paused and Dorota held her breath.

A soft smile appeared on Blair's face.

"An heir to a kingdom lives within me. How very Shakespeare" Blair said in a dreaming tone.

Dorota was right; it did help thinking of it this way. It made her feel confident in what she was planning to do. This baby had an identity already and a future with Chuck Bass as its father no matter what.

"A comedy not a tragedy I hope" Dorota replied, smiling.

"So do I, which is why I have to tell one person before Louis" Blair said as she looked at her phone. It lit up with a message suddenly.

"And I can do that, right now" Blair said as she read the message.

...

Chuck Bass was on his way to Lily and Rufus' home with Monkey. He was still blown away by the change of events in his life. It had only been a few days since Blair told him she was having his child, and they hadn't spoken yet. He wasn't sure if she wanted to talk, or of what he should be doing. He just knew he was excited by the very idea of being a father.

Great things were happening to Chuck Bass lately, it had been inspiring him to continue doing mature things. Having to walk Monkey meant Chuck had been using his limo a lot less. He felt like he was living in the moment for once, not observing it from a distance.

"Good boy" he said to Monkey.

Chuck looked up and saw Blair heading towards him. His heart sped up rapidly. This would be the first time he'd seen her after she revealed her pregnancy.

Blair was in a good spirits after her discussion with Dorota.

"Hello" Chuck said cordially.

"Do you know what this summoning is about?" Blair asked quickly, not wanting to talk about their situation so soon at the risk of losing her good mood.

"I do but I can't say, I'm sworn to secrecy" Chuck replied.

"Since when do you bite your tongue?" Blair questioned in surprised amusement.

"I'm learning" Chuck responded.

Blair didn't know what to say. Chuck was making her more and more excited with his developing maturity. She felt the butterflies swarming in her. Perhaps he really had taken her words about him "not being ready for a mature relationship" into consideration.

"Well isn't Humphrey becoming quite the drama queen?" Blair continued after a beat.

"Isn't that usually your role?" Chuck joked.

"I prefer drama princess now" Blair said with her nose in the air, but with a mischievous smile to show she was mostly joking.

Chuck couldn't believe they weren't talking about the fact she was pregnant with his child. This charade would not be extensive. He stopped walking for a moment to clutch her shoulder.

"How are you by the way?" Chuck asked looking into her eyes. They obviously couldn't discuss the fact she was pregnant in a public street. His eyes asked everything: Are you well? What can I do to help? Blair's heart fluttered in response to his whole demeanour.

"I'm okay," she replied slowly, "Thanks for asking."

Blair was unable to keep the affection and appreciation out of her voice, and was sure her eyes revealed how enthralled she was by how considerate he was being.

Suddenly Monkey leapt forward after a squirrel that had appeared in the street causing Chuck to stumble forward and held Blair's hips as a reflex. Blair quickly clutched Chuck's right shoulder and his left arm to steady them both.

Chuck was overwhelmed with nerves and excitement, not having been this close to her since the night at the bar mitzvah.

"Sorry the—squirrel" he actually stammered, letting out a short, nervous, breathy laugh.

He took a quick breath in attempt to regather his composure, despite the fact his insides were brimming with butterflies.

"Should we?" Chuck asked quickly, pointing in the general direction of Rufus and Lily's.

Blair nodded with a knowing smile. She had not missed his bashfulness and found herself giddy with the knowledge that Chuck Bass had become almost like a shy, inexperienced boy in that moment. It was quite possibly the most adorable thing she had ever experienced from him. Aside from when he repeatedly told her he loved her at the end of high school while planting kisses on her mouth in between his words.

They reached the apartment and stepped inside the elevator, finally having a private moment.

"Look Chuck... I still haven't told Louis. I'm searching for the best possible opportunity," Blair said slowly.

Chuck nodded, his eyes telling her to continue.

"It's just that our parents are coming to have dinner and it's possibly the worst timing ever" Blair explained with a shaky voice, a bit of her hysteria from this morning returning.

Chuck moved forward as though he was going to hold her as he said "Blair,"

But Blair interrupted, holding her hand up as if to stop him from touching her, "I appreciate you being here for me Chuck, its more comforting than you know."

Chuck drew back, nodding and just stared at her. Her eyes showing that she really was appreciative of him, and as his stare prolonged he found something else that he recognized. He was sure his eyes reflected the same thing. Chuck realised he should look away, chanting in his head that she deserved to be happy, and dropping his gaze to focus somewhere else.

That's when he noticed her breasts.

He swallowed, his eyes glazing over as he took in the extra bulge in her chest. As Blair stared at him, she knew the moment he had noticed the changes in her body and rolled her eyes.

"Stop staring Bass, its bad enough knowing that I'm heading towards a white rhino in appearance" Blair sighed sadly.

Chuck's eyes shot up, realizing what he was doing. Somehow being his smarmy self didn't seem appropriate in this situation, even for Chuck Bass.

"Sorry" Chuck said quickly, his eyes squinting in humiliation. What was happening to him lately? Was he losing game? This is what happens every time he loses the right to sleep with Blair Waldorf, Chuck realised.

"God, not only is my life going to shreds but so is my body" Blair said in a world-weary voice.

_Okay, screw being a gentleman. She's basically asking for a comment now_, Chuck thought.

"Waldorf, you and I both know that your body is looking better than ever" Chuck said, annoyed at her lack of appreciation for what he deemed beautiful. He awaited the snarky response in which she referred to him as a perve. But to his surprise Blair blushed and looked down shyly. If he was losing his touch, then apparently so was Blair.

The elevator reached the apartment and opened. They entered together, not saying a word.

...

10 minutes later, Blair was leaving Rufus and Lilly's to go home and get ready to meet the parents for dinner. She had decided to stay in the dark about Dan's book, sensing her portrayal would be quite terrible and honestly not having the right hormones at present for reading things like that about herself.

When she arrived to her apartment, she found Louis staring at a picture of her with Chuck on Gossip Girl, glaring with anger.

"Louis is something wrong?" Blair asked.

"I know you were with Chuck. Is that who you desperately needed to speak to today?" He asked suspiciously.

"No, it was Serena and I didn't even get a chance to. Dan gathered us all together because he wrote some novel about everyone and he wanted to make sure we knew about it first." Blair explained, but was honestly upset with Louis. He didn't even know anything and was already suspicious of her. Blair was being what she considered weak, not immediately getting angry for his suspicion.

"But the way he said he made you in that story. If there's an entire book it could be terrible," Louis said, not understanding Blair's nonchalance about the book.

"Look I would expect nothing less. I was mean to him on the steps of the Met. I badmouthed him repeatedly to his dream girl. I tried to undermine him at W. I'm sure he's brutal. He may be calling this a novel but I know just how little imagination he really has. It's a memoir masquerading as fiction with a good reverse James Fry." Blair insisted.

"So you're going to read it?" Louis mumbled, seeming like he was tired of the dramatics.

"No, no, and you shouldn't either. That book has nothing to do with us. Whatever is in there, even if it is the truth, it's in the past" Blair insisted. Damn Humphrey. She had enough to worry about without him and his stupid book. Blair excused herself to go lie down. She was exhausted.

...

When she woke up later, she walked down the stairs to find Louis in the same spot.

"How is it I can sleep for two hours and still be so exhausted? Were you sitting here all by yourself?"

"I was just waiting for you to wake up so I could tell you the bad news. My family is not going to make it. There is a terrible storm over the Atlantic that has delayed their trip" Louis said in a monotone.

He was lying. But she was Blair Waldorf, so she played along.

"I'll let my mom and Cyrus know. We can change dinner to tomorrow when Sophie and Beatrice arrive" Blair said.

"If they make it by then" Louis said, looking to one side.

She was shocked and annoyed at his immature behaviour. Why was he lying?

"What do you want to do tonight instead? Shall I make a reservation for Gramercy Tavern?" Blair asked, in a way relieved that she wouldn't have to face any of the parents tonight. She reached her hands to his shoulders, but he moved them off.

"I have some work to catch up on, why don't you go to Dan's book party. I'm sure he'd love to see you" he said stonily, walking out.

"Okay" Blair said, confused.

When Louis left, she turned to Dorota who had entered the room.

"Louis just lied to me about his family" Blair said incredulously.

"How you know?" Dorota asked.

"My outfit for tonight included a pair of Crocodile Aliyah's. You can't wear such a beautiful shoe if there's even a hint of a sprinkle outside so of course I checked the weather. Clear from Monaco to Manhattan" Blair explained bitterly.

"Maybe have something to do with Lonely Boy book? Louis was reading while you sleep. He did not look happy," Dorota suggested as Blair picked up the book. Angry that Louis just didn't listen to her.

"I told him not to read it. It's not like there's anything in it that he doesn't know about me" Blair huffed.

She paused as she read something, and then slowly looked up with wide eyes.

"Oh my God. I'm going to kill Dan Humphrey." Blair said steadily.

...

Later that evening, Chuck had entered Dan's book party with Rufus and Lilly. Dan's new publicist finished her conversation with Rufus and Lilly and turned to Chuck.

"And you must be Mr Charlie Trout, I have been dying to meet you" she said, holding out her hand.

"Care to join me for a drink?" Chuck asked, amused.

"I was nervous you wouldn't show up considering your portrayal in the book" she said.

"Why would I be upset?" Chuck asked. His portrayal didn't seem accurate enough to him to be offended.

"I don't know. Your character's story is so tragic even before he dies. And the way it happens. All I could think was how long you must have been hanging there before anybody found you" she stated, full of emotion at what Chuck deemed a mere story.

"I have plenty of staff. They would have found me immediately" Chuck said, sure of himself.

"Staff? Not friends or family? That makes it even worse" she pointed out to him.

Chuck wasn't sure why this woman was so intent on acknowledging the tragedy that was Chuck's life, but it was turning him off her by the minute. If this had been said to him before Blair told him the news, he wasn't sure he'd feel too good about what she was saying. In fact, her words would have scared the hell out of him.

Blair arrived to Dan's party in a flurry of outrage. What right did Humphrey have to write that they had sex? She was furious. On top of that, she was extremely mad with Louis for doubting her. Fair enough, she had already cheated on him with Chuck. But he didn't even know that and was treating her like a complete criminal who couldn't be trusted. This isn't how a princess is supposed to be treated. If she was giving up Chuck, who is half of who she is, for Louis, he had better be trying to make her happy like she thought he would.

Now she was in the study with Serena and Dan, with not even Serena believing her.

"Is this true?" Serena asked.

"Of course it's true" Louis said as he entered the study, "this is why you had me kill your story and why you asked me not to read it. I came here because I thought my suspicions were ridiculous. It turns out the only thing ridiculous is me. I should have known."

"It never happened!" Blair said, even though she was starting to doubt why she was even trying.

"I don't believe a word you say. You said yourself that Dan has no imagination" Louis said coldly.

"Okay uh thanks. But Louis it didn't happen," Dan insisted.

"I would never lie to you. You know that." Blair exclaimed, ignoring the voice in her head that said she already had.

"I never know with you. And that's the problem. I have no reason to stay here any longer." Louis said with finality.

Blair watched him leave. Now she was beginning to have serious doubts about her relationship with Louis. He didn't realise how much she had been changing to be with him. Blair Waldorf was growing up, becoming someone people could respect. But she was simultaneously losing parts of herself that she shouldn't have to give up, like the inner Queen that could control her life and maintain power without marrying a Prince or the help of Dan-freaking-Humphrey for crying out loud.

She also had let go of Chuck, the one person who knows her to her core and loves her anyway. He was the man who challenged her and required her to use the strength inside herself to save him, not the other way round. The love of her life had selflessly insisted that she fight for her fairytale twice now although it was breaking both of their hearts.

Blair couldn't give up yet though. Blair would never end her fairytale on anyone but her own terms. She was going to fix this.

"You had better hope that I can stop your fantasy life from destroying my real one" Blair spoke harshly to Dan.

"Blair I never wanted us to become between you two" Dan said, not realising how his words sounded.

"When are you going to get it through your head? There is no 'us'. There never was. There's nothing here but friendship and even that's gone now" she finished, and stormed out to find Louis.

Blair spotted him at the exit and rushed to him. Just as she was about to call out and make herself known to him, she realised he was speaking to Chuck and on instinct remained in the shadows, listening.

"You're making a big mistake" Chuck said. He had become introspective about his correlation with the world after what Dan's publicist had said to him. Chuck was starting to realise he hated being a villain, and his child was never going to know him as the detached, cold person the world saw if he could help it. Here was an opportunity to do something mature, something his child would look up to.

"In thinking that Blair could be trusted? Yes. She will always have her secrets. She can't exist without them," Louis replied, as though he had come to terms with everything.

"You should never listen to me. If you read Dan's book you know how I turn out. You have a chance at having love in your life, not ending up alone hanging in a closet. Don't give up on your own fact over someone else's fiction" Chuck said darkly.

Louis paused for a moment, and then walked off leaving Chuck to continue smoking his cigarette with a pained look in his eyes. Blair turned to head back inside at that point, unsure of what to say to Chuck if she spoke to him now. Perhaps she should leave him to sort out his thoughts.

And to sort out her own.

What had she just overheard? Blair was so overwhelmed with the selflessness of what Chuck had done that tears were burning in her eyes and she let out a small sob. God she loved him. This wonderful version of Chuck has resurfaced again. Why was it that his actions were even more romantic when they weren't together?

She remembered Serena telling her after Blair ended things with Nate that Chuck had only let her go because he loved her, and wanted her to be happy. She remembered Serena telling her about what he did for her on her prom night. Chuck truly had a beautiful heart, but his mind was warped with a lack of confidence and a mentality that had been instilled in him by Bart.

But it looked as though he was coming to terms with the problems in his psyche. Perhaps now he would seek help. And boy did Blair want to be the one with him when he did.

Louis was finding any excuse not to trust her. On top of that, why did she have to put so much effort into proving herself to him? She was losing her own fire, her own goals to achieve power based on her own work for a love that was of no passion and no real strength that came with experience. Hell she wasn't even crying at the thought of losing him, but when she had tricked Chuck into kissing a guy she wanted to die at the thought of hurting him.

This morning, Blair had thought that her life was already mess without trying to figure out her relationship with Chuck and had been frightened of losing her fairytale and her 'happiness.'

But the answer was so simple now. Blair was having déjà vu of her relationship with Nate at the end of senior year. She had arrived to the same conclusion as she had that night of prom.

It was time to find Louis.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay so this isn't exactly a great chapter. I just needed to fill the story in. Its short as well. Next chapter I'm going to copy less from the show and it's going to be really sweet. It won't take long for me to update. Please don't attack me in your reviews, I explained the situation.**

Blair had just finished telling Serena the good news and the fact the baby was Chuck's. Serena said she was going to be there for her no matter what. She was glad she could count on Serena, even if Louis didn't feel the same way about her.

Blair had gone straight to her penthouse to find Louis and end things the night before, but he hadn't come home yet. She was fully decided at this point to break up with him. Firstly, because her fairytale wasn't what it seemed. She was slowly losing herself by being in a relationship with Louis and she didn't sign up for so many obstacles. Blair had ended things with Chuck based on the fact that her fairytale was being handed to her on a silver platter, but in reality it hadn't at all. Also, she still was in deep love with Chuck, not to mention pregnant with his child. It all made sense to end things with Louis and nothing was going to change Blair's mind.

Suddenly, Louis appeared at the door looking sheepish.

"I'm going to get ready for work, I love you" Serena said, pressing a kiss on the side of Blair's head. She whispered "Let me know if you need me," and left the room. Blair felt comforted by this, as she was going to need Serena more than ever now.

"Louis," Blair started.

"Don't, I'm ashamed enough at my behaviour. I know you have a complicated past, but you've been honest about it. It's hard for me, I want to believe but every time I turn there seems to be another secret!" Louis stated, sounding genuinely sorry. But Blair knew he had only said all this because of what Chuck had told him. That was a great concern regarding their relationship.

"That night at Constance you gave me a choice, and now I'm giving you one. Either you find a way to trust me or you let me go" Blair said drily. He didn't know how much she was on the brink of leaving him as she had been for most of their relationship. Blair had been sure that Chuck and their crazy, great love was it for her. Her relationship with Louis was mostly based upon happiness, rather than true love and that's why she was giving it a shot. Trusting the person you're with is part of being happy.

"I could never let you go" he said seriously. But Blair knew how close he had been to leaving her, had Chuck not spoken to him. She didn't trust him either.

"No Louis, just... no," Blair said coldly, "I know you were about to leave me tonight, I heard your conversation with Chuck!"

"Blair, I made a mistake...I love you" Louis tried.

"Louis, I'm choosing to be with you because you were the one who could promise me joy in my life, but every moment a new obstacle to our relationship appears. It isn't supposed to be this way and I'm not happy" Blair exclaimed.

Suddenly Dorota appeared at the door, announcing that her mother and Cyrus had arrived.

Blair turned back to Louis, saying "this conversation is not over, but for now we focus on our parents who are arriving."

Louis nodded weakly.

Chuck had been doing a lot of thinking about himself. All his life he had seen himself as a villain. Firstly he 'killed' his mother, and his father had insisted that he could do nothing more than screw everything in his life up. That was why he behaved the way he did. Even if Chuck wanted to be able to be better, he never believed that wanting it was enough until now.

With Eva, he had been better but not the basic, essential kind of better that comes with being able to have an authentic relationship with someone. Blair was the only person he had came close to trusting. The fact that she was pregnant with his child meant that Chuck needed to learn how to fully trust her and himself to not screw things up. This child was altering his view on the world without even being born yet. It was helping him to try, and to believe that simply wanting to be a good person gave him a chance at becoming one.

He now understood Serena's transformation when she returned to the Upper East Side in junior year. It was hard for her to make things right with those who she loved, but she didn't give up and her relationships with Blair, Lily and Eric were salvaged. She also was able to have a real relationship with Humphrey, despite how things might be turning out between them now.

Chuck decided to start from what seemed a more definite possibility of success. He entered Lily's home, and when she saw him she gasped excitedly as she put down her paper. Chuck compared her reaction to his arrival with her reaction to Serena's arrival from boarding school and was struck with how much Lily had grown. Her smile was not the society smile she had greeted Serena with, she was genuinely excited by her adopted son's appearance. He felt more confident already.

"Thanks for seeing me" Chuck said with a small smile as he swaggered in.

"Of course Charles" she replied in a pleased tone, rubbing her hands together, "I'm so happy you called, it's been a long time. Rufus isn't here if you need to talk."

"It seems like I'm always off on my own" Chuck stated, as he stared at the newspaper that contained a picture of the group at Dan's book party.

"I thought you liked it that way" Lily said softly.

Chuck turned to her, realising it was time to explain and try to open up.

"I don't want to be the unrepentant bad boy, who no one cares who lives or dies" Chuck said sadly.

"It's just a book Charles" Lily insisted, concerned.

"What if it isn't?" Chuck asked, almost worriedly.

"There are people that care so deeply for you, if you would just let them," Lily enforced.

Chuck took this in. She was right, and never would his child ever feel afraid to love him he decided. Blair may not be marrying him, but he knew that she still loved him and he loved her. If he could just be able to bring her joy in a relationship with him, things would be perfect.

"Blair is lost to me" Chuck said, with sadness in his eyes.

"I know I'm sorry" Lily said genuinely, with her hands on his shoulders.

"Lily I've been doing a lot of thinking about me. I need help. I know this now, hell I knew it last year. I'm ready to be serious, if you'll help me" Chuck said slowly and nervously. It was difficult for him to speak so openly about his core feelings. But Lilly had experience with Eric in matters of therapy and it was what Chuck needed to do, for his child.

"Oh," Lilly said, momentarily stunned, and then she smiled, "Charles, I'm so proud of you. I'll contact someone for you, if that's what you mean?"

Chuck nodded, swallowing. Then he pictured a brunette baby girl in his mind and felt courage bubble in him.

"Oh Princess Sophie, Beatrice! Welcome! So lovely to see you both again" Cyrus greeted excitedly.

"We couldn't be happier" Eleanor said in her usual controlled tone.

"Cyrus, you are still a hugger I hope!" Sophie said.

"Is a Northern spotted owl still a predator?" he said as he pulled her into a hug

"I am so thrilled we are gathering together on Yom Kippur and I hope the two of you will stay to break the fast with us. As I recall you're quite fond of smoked salmon" Cyrus rambled on.

"I am and we would love to!" Sophie said, charmed by the small, bald man.

Blair and Louis entered the room calmly as though no argument had transpired between them.

They greeted each other and hugged, and as Blair hugged Beatrice she whispered to her, "Thank-you for keeping my secret, but it turns out it was a false alarm, I am not pregnant"

Blair swore she saw relief flicker in Beatrice's eyes, but it appeared she had bought the lie. The last thing Blair needed was someone else knowing her secret.

"What are sisters for?" Beatrice said sweetly, and then clutched her mother's elbow. "A word mother?" she said, pulling her away from the others. Beatrice was relieved for the moment, but was still determined to find a way to end this marriage so that her brother could not inherit the throne.

"Mother, I think we have a problem," said Beatrice.

"I hope you won't try to stir up trouble and ruin the happiness of this couple" Sophie said knowingly.

"I'm just trying to protect our family's history. Blair is very controlling; she's the one making all the decisions for the wedding, what about when it comes to raising a family?" Beatrice insisted.

"Louis knows how important the first grandchild is to me, to Monaco and he will protect the royal tradition" Sophie replied.

"Yeah but will she?" Beatrice shot back.

Sophie was silent for the moment in deep thought, and then she led Beatrice back to the others to join the discussion.

Blair was the master at acting like everything was fine. She was talking about the wedding as though it was still going to happen, so she could figure out her next step on her own terms. Louis was thankfully remained quiet while she talked.

"Blair, forgive me for perhaps speaking too early, but if you and Louis were ever to have children, have you thought about where they would live and attend school?" Beatrice asked innocently.

Blair was momentarily struck, but to her relief everyone seemed to take it as just her surprise at a question like that early in their relationship. She quickly covered up.

"Well... I'm assuming Constance St Jude's, as we'll be living in New York most of the time" Blair said brightly.

"Blair received an exemplary education" Louis said.

"While a New York education may be adequate for a non-royal, Grimaldi's always attend boarding school in Switzerland" Sophie insisted.

"You can't seriously expect to dictate every detail of my daughter and any grandchildren I may have's lives?" Eleanor said aghast.

"But the children will not just be your grandchildren?" Sophie countered.

"Blair's life and her family are here in New York" Eleanor said with certainty.

"But Louis' are in Monaco" Sophie said, almost questioning Louis.

"Maman, Eleanor, enough. Blair and I will discuss these issues privately" Louis said uncomfortably.

"You will all have to excuse me" Blair said drily as she got up to leave, fed up with the facade.

"See what happens when she doesn't get her way?" Beatrice whispered to her mother in French.

Meanwhile, Chuck was sitting at Eliza Barnes office. The session was almost over, and the doctor had asked him a series of questions that would help her to decipher his many issues.

"So what does your professional opinion think of me?" Chuck said as he sat up.

She paused her writing, and then looked at him. She took a deep breath.

"You never had a childhood and so you behave like a child in the worst ways. You pay for intimacy so you're always in control and no one can get close to you. Your superficial connections and lack of authentic emotion leave you isolated and alone. Keep coming to my sessions and I will help you try to find a way to live a normal and happy life" she said with meaning.

Chuck took it all in, momentarily stung. But he realized was already one step ahead of her. He had real connections with people, like Lily said. Chuck was about to belong with his child, and that is not the kind of relationship you buy. He would not bribe his child the way his father did, but rather take the time to understand the child.

Chuck nodded, and left the office.

Blair had rejoined the grouping after having a few moments to herself to breathe. Yet another obstacle had appeared; only making Blair more confident about her decision to end things with Louis.

The Yom Kippur festivities had begun and a crowd has amassed in the Waldorf apartment. Blair walked down the stairs to be met with Beatrice. Beatrice gave Blair a small smile and Blair responded with a cautious one.

"I'm sorry about my mother, she has finally gone mad. She just told me that she will threaten you with the loss of your children if you ever break any of her rules," Beatrice said in a sugary sweet voice.

"What?" Louis interrupted, suddenly appearing before the two women.

"It doesn't surprise me at all Louis, you know what a tyrant she can be" Beatrice responded.

Louis scoffed and stormed up to his mother, with Blair and Beatrice trailing behind.

"Mother, how could you insist this of Blair and me?" Louis exclaimed.

"What are speaking of?" Sophie asked, bewildered.

"You cannot take our child from us if you don't like something Blair chooses to do" Louis said.

"What are you talking about? I said no such thing" Sophie said.

"You're lying, Beatrice just told Blair that you did" Louis countered.

"I must have said it the wrong way, forgive me as English is not my first language" Beatrice said innocently.

"This was no mistake Beatrice, you must have made this up" Sophie said coldly.

Beatrice sighed, looking at everyone.

"Yes, I did. Blair has no respect for traditions or the monarchy. She'll do whatever she wants with the children" Beatrice said with superiority.

"I can't believe you'd betray us like this!" Blair exclaimed, appalled that she didn't realise how truly sneaky Beatrice was all along. Blair was getting more and more turned off Louis' family by the minute. Is this what she would be dealing with if she married Louis? Further enemies that would try to manipulate her and present as challenges for her to defeat? This was completely the opposite of what she thought she was leaving her true love for.

"My daughter's actions may have been underhanded and deceitful but your reaction makes me think that she might be right. If you really want to embrace my family you would have no problem with that order. If you two cannot accept this then I will never acknowledge your children as my heirs. Nor will I acknowledge you Louis," Sophie said with a tone of question.

Blair was stunned. It really was all that simple. She was never meant to be with Louis. All the signs and obstacles were pointing to it.

"I wish you could find it in your heart not to make this mistake" Louis said.

"It is you who is mistaken, throwing away your royal family for a fiancé you shouldn't trust" Sophie insisted.

"Louis stop," Blair said, "we need to talk."

Louis looked at Blair and nodded, and they made their way upstairs.

"Chuck will always be the wrong choice Blair" Louis exclaimed, an hour later.

Blair had told Louis her intentions about breaking up with him. She told him about how there were too many obstacles, and she didn't love him enough to want to put up with them anymore.

"That's my decision to make Louis. I just cannot choose to be with you. This relationship isn't what I thought it was going to be." Blair said sadly, she was somewhat disappointed by her decision. Louis was a great man, despite her feelings. She pulled off the ring that always felt too surreal for her and put it in Louis' hand.

Louis looked angry, hurt and sad. He sighed with resignation.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Louis said quietly.

Blair nodded, closing her eyes solemnly.

"Very well, may I borrow your phone to call my mother? She will know how best to break the news to the world." Louis said downcastly.

"Of course, I'm going to go run a bath" Blair said gently, and moved to the bathroom.

As soon as Blair had gone into the bathroom, Louis opened up Blair's contacts on her phone. Louis knew that this wasn't exactly the right thing to do, but he loved Blair with all his heart. He wanted to protect her from anything Chuck might do to manipulate her in her vulnerable state of mind after ending her engagement. He knew all about Victrola and the night Blair broke up with Nate and lost her virginity to Chuck. So he blocked Chuck's number from being able to call or text her. He flipped the phone shut and left the Waldorf apartment for the last time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey it's been a while since I updated this. I guess I just got lazy haha! Here goes...**

_2 weeks later_

It was settled. The wedding was off. Blair and Louis had released press statements with minimal details as to why they broke up. Within a few days of the announcement, Louis had returned to Monaco with his family. It seemed simple and quick, but the paparazzi were hounding Blair constantly. For the first week she could barely leave the house without being mobbed by reporters who were hungry for any gossip they could find on Blair. Being pregnant made Blair feel extra stressed, and the attention from the paparazzi wasn't helping.

Blair sat on her bed now contemplating the last couple of weeks. She finally had a moment to breathe and the first thing that came to her mind was Chuck. He had been constantly in her thoughts for the past few weeks, wondering what he thought of her break-up with Louis. Strangely enough he hadn't called or texted her.

Or maybe not so strange? He doesn't have to be with her if he doesn't want to, she thought sadly. The thought practically brought physical pain to her, as she was beginning to realise that she had fallen for him again. From her brief glimpses of Gossip Girl over the past two weeks, she knew he was regularly seeing a therapist, and the knowledge made her glow inside from the mixture of love, relief and pride she felt. Stupid hormones, she thought. As she watched a video of Chuck helping a drunk-off-his-face Dan out of his limo a couple of days ago, she let out a watery laugh at his chivalry. The paper that Dorota had placed on the table this morning at breakfast had shown a photo of Chuck saving a duck by her regular pond, and she burst into tears over her fruit platter.

Perhaps the size of her reactions could be attributed to her out-of-control pregnancy hormones, but she knew that the initial thought that triggered them came from her heart. Blair was head-over-heels in love with Chuck. She wanted to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him.

And yet, how could she tell him? Or better yet would he even feel the same way? Maybe the reason he was doing so well was because he wasn't in a relationship with someone as complicated and messed up as her. He hadn't called or texted her for the whole two weeks. Usually she would assume he was giving her space but maybe he had really let her go? Fear and misery engulfed her as she considered this thought.

Chuck Bass was doing good. In fact he was doing better than good, he was doing great. Seeing his therapist every couple of days was already helping him in ways he never thought possible. His mind was slowly clearing from his greatest doubts, insecurities and fears. The therapist advised him on ways to control any lingering dark thoughts he might have. Walking Monkey every day was opening his eyes to the world in new ways and he was finding peace simultaneously. The knowledge that he was going to be a father brought him a comfort that he had never known possible. There was just one, confusing thought that he couldn't shake. And that was a recently single Blair Waldorf.

The moment he saw the newspaper announcing the end of her proposal, he felt a rush of hope and joy. What could this mean? He had so many questions for her and he couldn't help but dream that they might reunite. Chuck wanted to marry the love of his life and mother of his child. He wanted to grow old with her. He gave it a day or so to avoid seeming like a totally obsessed creep and also for her to get her own affairs in order. But then he reminded himself that he had some right to know what was going on, as the change in Blair's lifestyle would mean a change in his child's lifestyle. So he called... and called... and called. But every time he did Blair blocked his call. He pondered her reasons for this. He guessed she might be busy handling the press and what-not. But the ending of the proposal had sparked so much hope in him. Maybe she wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her and that's why she left Louis? Or maybe she didn't feel the same way. Maybe she was afraid to be with such a complicated and messed up person like him. He confided in his therapist about this fear the day after Blair wouldn't return his calls.

"Blair has left her fiancé, and I had hoped that she was opening her heart to me again" Chuck expressed to his therapist.

"I believe it would be healthy for you to pursue her again. You've found a way to avoid turning dark and desperate at the thought of losing Blair Waldorf. You deserve an opportunity to have love in your life Charles" the therapist responded.

Chuck contemplated this for a moment.

"Maybe not. She hasn't returned my calls, in fact I think she may be blocking them" Chuck said sadly.

"It's possible she could be apprehensive about returning to you immediately. Did you ever really talk to her about the mistakes you made, or even apologise? It's healthy to right those wrongs of the past to be able to move forward" the therapist advised.

And now Chuck sat contemplating what his therapist had said, and he agreed with her. He never really got his chance to apologise to Blair for every mistake he made. He was too busy trying to win her back the only way he knew how to at the time. He understood why Blair probably didn't want to see him right now, or even consider getting back together with him. But he knew he had to try and give her more faith in him. He pulled out his phone and typed out a text:

_I'm sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you. I love you. – C_

He sent it to Blair. She didn't reply, but that didn't stop Chuck from sending her another text the next day.

_I'm sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building._ _I love you. – C_

Or the day after that.

_I'm sorry for treating you like property. I love you. – C_

Or the day after that.

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did. I love you. –C _

Or the day after that.

_Most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up on us. And you never did. I love you. –C_

Chuck meant all of the apologies with all of his heart. But the last one felt so important to say. He had said it himself years ago that in the face of true love, you don't just give up. He would never forget that again.

**Hold on tight. Next chapter they will definitely interact in a Notebook inspired chapter. Note: I'm going to refrain from the other characters for a bit, but eventually I might bring in some Derena. What do you all think?**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is inspired by the Notebook. I don't own the Notebook or Gossip Girl! But they do mesh well together. Mature scenes ahead. Enjoy :) **

* * *

><p><em>3 years ago...<em>

_It was utter bliss after Chuck had said he loved Blair, signifying that he wanted them to be together. After kissing for what felt like hours on that chequered-patterned sidewalk, they jumped into Chuck's limo and made love there for the first time in over a year. Their love-making was so passionate and sweet that it brought tears to Blair's eyes, and they were both still trembling as they held each other afterwards. _

_Their happy romance continued throughout the summer. They felt like they couldn't breathe when they were apart and they always ached for each other. Blair hadn't felt like this before with any of her boyfriends, and that's how she knew that Chuck was the first man she truly loved, the same way she was the first woman for Chuck. _

_One weekend, they went to the Hamptons, staying at Cece's with the others. Blair was standing on a gazebo in Cece's garden late one afternoon admiring the beautiful pinkish-orange sky, unaware of Chuck approaching her, his face serious as he admired her beauty in the sunset. When he reached her, he grasped her elbows and she turned around quickly into his arms, her lips meeting his. As they kissed, they unconsciously moved towards one of the pillars in the gazebo, until Blair's back was pressed against it. They broke apart panting and continuing to stare at each other intensely. Chuck slowly brought his hands up and palmed her breasts. Someone called out from the house, and knowing that they were about to be interrupted, Chuck asked if she wanted to go somewhere and she agreed._

_Arthur drove them in a limo to a huge, beautiful white two story house situated by the beach. They exited the limo, and Chuck led Blair into the home. When Blair looked around the home, she gasped in delight. She loved it on sight. Chuck told her it was built during the Prohibition era and Blair believed him. Everything about it screamed Old Hollywood and Audrey. It reflected her taste perfectly with its chequered floors and the winding staircase. But there was also a certain elegance about the room, something uniquely 'Chuck' in the lighting and decorative features. The furniture alternated between royal purples and deep reds throughout the room they were in. Chuck told her that the first man to live in this home proposed to his wife on the steps of the staircase. Blair glided through the rooms, commenting on its beauty and size. Chuck told her he wanted to buy it someday and make it a home for himself during the summer. _

"_And what about me? Don't I get to make a home here too?" Blair said crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow._

"_Do you want to?" Chuck asked quietly in his husky voice. Blair swallowed, not looking at him as she spoke again._

"_Yes I would. This place is perfect for a family of mine" Blair said quietly. She was worried about bringing up something like raising a family with Chuck Bass. But she couldn't help herself. Chuck felt like 'it' for her._

_He didn't speak for a moment and she grew nervous. Then he said "When I buy this place you'll know that I'm ready."_

"_Promise?" Blair asked timidly, her eyes shining with hope._

"_Promise" Chuck said firmly with a smirk. Then he walked over to the white piano situated in the corner of the living room. Blair let out a shaky breath and followed him. He sat down at the piano and began to play. Blair's heart raced at the sight, as she had only ever had a taste of his piano-playing skills once around the time of the Snowflake ball. She sighed and leaned against the piano, her eyes drinking him in, with his dark eyes locked on hers, his fingers still pressing the keys as he played a soft, slow song. Blair lifted herself up onto the piano and lay on her side facing him, one arm propped up so her head could rest in her hand as she watched him. His smouldering eyes on her combined with him playing the piano stirred Blair's lust. She began to unbutton her blouse, her eyes still on him as the blouse slightly slipped down to expose her shoulders. As his eyes took in the revealed skin, he made a slight falter in the music. Then Blair got off the piano and stood behind him, pressing a kiss to his neck. This time the mistake in the music was obvious and Chuck stopped all together, chuckling._

"_I can't play Chop-sticks with you doing that" he said, turning his head up and smiling at her, then pressing his lips to hers. Their kisses grew deeper, and Blair whispered to him to make love to her. And so he did._

_But neither of them forgot the promise Chuck had made that day._

Present day

Chuck had been texting Blair for a full week without her replying. His texts had started off as apologies, but they began to turn into more romantic yet cryptic, texts that only Blair would understand, for example he wrote "They haven't stopped fluttering. You too?" But she still wouldn't respond.

Maybe his gesture wasn't grand enough. He thought hard about how he would show Blair he wanted her and was ready for her. Then it came to him. He picked up the phone and called Arthur.

"Arthur, I need to go to the Hamptons immediately."

Blair wasn't doing so well. In fact she was practically depressed. She was dying to hear or see anything from Chuck that signalled he still wanted to be with her. Blair would sit and watch Audrey all day and eat boxes of Godiva chocolate. Blair knew she should be fair, as Chuck said that he needed to let her go. But shouldn't things have changed now? Louis wasn't the great man Blair and Chuck thought he was. Louis wasn't a fairytale for Blair. Chuck on the other hand had become all Blair ever wanted. She was also pregnant with his child. Maybe he really had let go of her and the intimacy between them. She teared up thinking about it.

Then Blair realised how much of a fool she was being sitting here asking herself the same questions over and over. Why didn't she just tell him she wanted to be with him? Even if he rejected her, at least she would be able to figure out her next move. She opened up the Gossip Girl spotted map to find out where Chuck was. She wanted to do this in person. It said he was on his way to the Hamptons. The Hamptons? Blair thought about it for a moment then it came to her. No, it couldn't be.

"Dorota! I'm going to the Hamptons" Blair called out.

Chuck watched as the owner of the home at the Hamptons drove off. Chuck had just finished finalising the payment for the house he had shown Blair years ago. He found himself wishing for once that someone would know he did this and send it to Gossip Girl, just so Blair would see it and know of his feelings for her and that he was ready. Maybe things had changed that promise he made 3 years ago.

The sound of a car approaching broke Chuck out of his thoughts. The back door of the town-car opened and to Chuck's amazement Blair climbed out and shut the door behind her. The driver of the car then pulled out and drove away, leaving Blair standing there looking at Chuck.

"What are you doing here?" Chuck exclaimed in shock.

"What are _you _doing here Bass?" Blair shot back indignantly as she walked over to him.

"I just bought this house" Chuck said casually. Blair raised her eyes to him in surprise, and then he saw a flicker of hope. He stepped closer to her.

"Now answer my question, what are you doing here Waldorf?" he asked quietly.

Blair stared at him for a moment, and then stalked away in an angry manner, and then she paused as though a new thought had arisen within her and turned around storming back to him.

"Why didn't you call or text me?" Blair asked, "Why?"

Chuck just stared at her in bewilderment.

"It wasn't over for me. I've been waiting for you for weeks!" Blair cried.

"I called you countless times. I texted you every day for a week" Chuck replied.

"You texted me?" Blair asked, practically shaking with indignation.

"Yes!" Chuck cried, getting worked up himself, "it wasn't over for me. It still isn't over!"

Blair opened her mouth to reply, but Chuck slammed his mouth against hers before she could. He quickly picked her up and walked over to the door of the house, opening it and letting the door slam shut behind him. He pushed her against a wall as they kissed repeatedly and hungrily. It had been too long.

Pieces of their clothing landed on the floor as they moved towards the stairs. By the time Chuck was carrying her up the stairs, they both only had on the bottom parts of their underwear. Blair was pressing desperate kisses on his shoulder as they moved, moaning as she did it. Somehow they reached a room with a bed and they landed on it, with Chuck on top of her.

The rest of their undergarments were removed and they proceeded to make love, both gasping between kisses. At one point Chuck sat up and Blair was perched in lap, the only sound in the room being her soft whimpers as they continued to make love to each other. They continued throughout the night, neither of them stopping to think about why. They both already knew in their hearts.

* * *

><p><strong>What do you guys think?<strong>


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